Tip Sheet on Balancing Career and Family

  • Make choices carefully, always know that you can revisit decisions. The choices you make now may not work for you in a few years. Your choices may also seem crazy to others, but work perfectly for you. Find what works for you and don’t worry about what works for others.
  • Flexibility is the key, stay open to all options, and be creative
  • Talk about options with bosses, you might find them more flexible and creative than you had imagined. Speak out if you need to make a change.
  • Fact: 75% of woman doctors are married to a partner who works 40+ hours a week. Realize that you are not alone in wishing for more balance!
  • Let go of image that household chores will be shared equally by both partners. If chores are overwhelming, look into the many options for getting outside help (housekeepers, nannies, handymen, etc.)
  • If one partner stays at home, even for a short time, consider drafting a formal job description of this person’s responsibilities, and what chores will be shared by the partner who works outside the home. A good resource is Staying Home: From Full-Time Professional to Full-Time Parent by Darcie Sanders and Martha M. Bullen
  • Live close to work and to your children’s school/daycare if at all possible. Long commutes greatly exacerbate imbalance. The best nursery school is the one closest to your home!
  • Making less money is a choice you may want to make. It may not make financial sense, but can very often lead to a more balanced, satisfying life. Constantly renegotiate how much your time is worth.
  • Remember that pressure is often self-inflicted. Be forgiving of yourself!
  • Surround yourself with support (family, friends, paid help). You can never have too much help.
  • You cannot give 100% of yourself to 4 different things, yourself, your partner, your children, and your work. You have to make choices. Despite what they say, you cannot have it all.
  • Tell your boss ASAP if you want to take time off. Often employers can be flexible, particularly if they have plenty of advance notice.
  • Be sure to nurture your relationship with your partner. PLAN breaks away with him/her, even for one night. Have dinner together at least once a week.
  • Take care of yourself, if you are not happy, no one in your family will be happy
  • If you are unhappy/unsupported in your current job, don't be afraid to change jobs. There are options out there!
  • Stay connected to your professional society even if you take time off from work. You can take advantage of resources on offer and stay current with research through journals. In addition, keeping in touch with your colleagues in the psychiatric societies provides a haven where you can do a little or a lot as family ties demand. The connection, even minimal, keeps you connected to your profession and lets you know that there is "another world" out there.
  • Attending to one's non-work needs can often result in more energy, more efficiency and better productivity during work effort.
  • Don't plan and commit to career plans too rigidly before your first baby is born. Actually HAVING that baby can radically change one's wishes and priorities. Think about options for your family during the nine-month "head start" that pregnancy gives you, but realize that child care is an abstraction until it actually happens.
  • The more people you add to a family, the more exponentially complicated the logistics of family management can get
  • Realize that parents’ careers can "peak" at different times. One partner may take time off to raise a child early on, while the other may retire earlier.
  • Mentoring from peers is key—this is possible through a working mom’s group, websites such as MomMD, APA Programs, and other professional societies
  • Become more efficient. Plan to get up a little earlier, or stay up a little later.
  • Accept that being a parent means dealing with conflict on a constant basis.
  • Include your children in decisions about how you schedule your time and why. This way, they will not feel like they always come second to other demands in your life.
  • Being strict about not working at home can actually be counter-productive. Use technology to your advantage. If your boss and colleagues can reach you by cellphone on the playground, they might be more amenable to flexible schedules.